Stumpy

When Elmer Phud was a kid, He heard about a big fish, which everyone called Stumpy. It was rumored to have a charmed life. It was supposed to live in Phume lake, a large body of water in Pipe County. The more stories Elmer heard, the more he was determined to catch Stumpy.

Well, more than thirty years have past. During that time Elmer worked and saved. Buying the finest fishing tackle and other toys with the sole purpose of catching Stumpy. He even went so far as to locate and buy a piece of land on the lake. He built a cabin out of old bark and twigs. The large dock he made of concrete and other modern material. Then Elmer invested in a large pontoon which he named Born To Fish. Not just an ordinary ‘toon but one with a steel hull and a small diesel powered lifting crane. At every opportunity he went hunting for Stumpy. He had many plans and strategies, all which failed. But Elmer kept on practicing for the big one by catching the normal walleye, northern pike, bass, sunfish or bullheads until they lost their appeal. Finally he had nothing more to learn. Elmer Phud was ready.
The stories about this fish bordered on the unbelievable. People landing on an island and having a picnic, leaving only when the ‘island’ woke up was a popular one.
One day Elmer’s luck turned.
The weather made a turn for the better for the first time since Elmer started his vacation. No aches or pains in his bones. He could feel good luck coming on strong. Elmer had a week left before he had to go back to the real world.
Elmer got up early, made coffee strong enough to float a spoon and went out to the dock to get his gear ready. This time he was going to use some heavy-duty equipment.
Elmer had collected an old ’52 Buick 6 cylinder engine for a weight and a half mile of .5 inch diameter hemp rope to use as fishing line. His fishing pole had a two cycle chainsaw engine to auto wind the line. Elmer would be going to the deepest part of the lake so he hooked up his underwater radar unit. The ‘toon was powered by two GMC 454 racing engines putting out 450 horse each. Tanks were topped off with 550 gals of pure aviation fuel. Elmer Phud was ready for some serious trolling.
For a hook, the line was rigged with an small, steel anchor from a salvaged navel vessel. One side was cut off to form a hook. The line had an inflated weather balloon tied on to keep the ‘hook’ off the bottom. For bait Elmer tied on a 30 pound northern he had caught the day before.
It was just after the sun came up. Elmer had been trolling for about an hour over shallow water (200 ft. by the radar) when the ‘toon suddenly stopped. The props were still turning but he wasn't making any headway. Could it be? Yep. Elmer had hooked Stumpy.
It was an awful fight. First Elmer was dragged backwards until Stumpy tired. Then he made headway again. Back and forth. They kicked up waves over 10 feet high at times. The bottom of the lake was stirred up so bad, mud floated to the surface. They went through some parts of the lake, which was only 50 ft. deep. Which now is 100 ft.. deep. For most of the day, they really cleaned that lake. Finally Elmer got the best of Stumpy. Some say he was caught having fun. Elmer said he was outdone by a master fisherman.
When Elmer finally landed the fish, he took pictures, then rolled it overboard, still alive, to live another day. After all, it is not the catching that drives a fisherman. It is the fishing.
Works for me.