Harold (Harry) Phratry and the jinx

When you are young, you do stupid things. When you do stupid things, you fall through a skylight into a dinner party. Or so they would have you believe. Harry did stupid things several times a year. Harry is not young.

When you are older, you do stupid things. When you do stupid things, it hurts. That's the difference. It hurts a lot.

Younger Harry, on a fishing trip with Elmer Phud, hooked his finger with a number two treble hook. It was just after he had consumed several adult drinks. The finger was hooked good. Blood and everything. Harry grabbed another large drink, downed it in one or two sips. He grabbed the hook and gave it a yank. Out came the hook as well as a good sized chunk of Harry’s finger. Younger Harry felt no pain. Harry grabbed both oars and rowed the boat ashore. Several day's later, older Harry was in a great deal of pain. Harry's hand, swollen up to about twice the original size, hurt very badly and was useless to row the boat for several weeks. Elmer had to use the outboard motor during that time. Proves the older you are, the more it hurts.

Harry, while on a hunting trip for big horn sheep in the mountains, flew off a cliff. Well, not so much as flew. More of 'walked' off. Harry had filled his canteen with a very strong adult drink. While walking along a trail which followed the side of a cliff, He unhooked his canteen for the umpteen time, took a big swallow with out stopping. He then proceeded to walk off into space. Much like the cartoon coyote, Willie. With much the same results. He did not fall as far. It only seemed like it. But unlike Willie, Harry broke a leg. Harry laid there, consumed more of the drink. Then, being a decorated army veteran, he remember the rule of firing three shots in the air to attract others. Harry fired three times in the air, sat back to wait for Elmer Phud, his hunting partner.

It was going on dark by the time Elmer stumbled across Harry at the bottom of the 12 foot cliff. Asked why he did not fire three shots, Harry replied he did, more than once. He allowed the next time they go hunting he was going to use a rifle and leave the bow hunting up to others. No matter, Harry was feeling no pain.

Three day's later, an older Harry was released from the hospital. Older Harry was in a lot of pain. Older Harry and drugs were old friends. The older you are, the more it hurts. Usually in places you had forgotten you had. Harry allowed as how he was not going on trips with Elmer for a while. After hooking his finger and now with a broken leg, he was convinced Elmer was a jinx.

Works for me.