Are You Insane?

For the hobbyist, fishing is a serious business. Being insane helps. Catch and release? Heck, here in reality, it's more likely to be hook'em and cook'em. Remember the old adage “Give a person a fish and they will have a meal for a day. Teach them to fish and they will always have a meal.” Or something like that.

If you are a middle class working stiff, just getting by, paying the bills & feeding the family and the in-laws, you need a little extra. I say take up fishing. I bet, Gar, the caveman was happy he was able to get his hands on a fish. The taste was nothing to write home about until fire was invented many centuries later. Seasoning, several centuries after that. Gar never released a fish back into the water his entire life (thirty years, top). Gar lived in the time of reality. Gar was the first redneck to wade into cold water, reach down and tickled a fish so it would not move. He then grappled it onto the shore where Rage, his mate, sliced and diced it onto a large leaf, to be consumed as an addition to the family meal. Fish was good, the leaf not so much. Gar was just a middle class working stiff feeding his family. Gar and his family were the only well fed cavemen for miles around. Gar kept his ability to catch fish, and the spot where he caught them, a secrete until he died. Then his offspring, not knowing it was a secrete, blabbed to everyone. After centuries went by, the fish critters realized being tickled into not moving was not a healthy thing. So they refused to be tickled any more. This lead to the invention of the fish spear.

Just why Gar decided to tickle a fish remains a mystery forever lost in time. Most everyone believes he was bored with tracking rabbits through the bramble and stopped for a break. Having just the beginnings of a sense of humor he thought it may be funny if he could make a fish laugh. The fish did not laugh. It just didn't move. Gar, angry, swiped at it causing the fish to be flung onto shore. His mate grappled it and...well you know the rest. Just saying.

The first fishing spear was a far cry from the slick, modern, metal ones used today. In fact, many neanderthal had other names for it. Stick heads the list. The idea of using a stick to ..well..stick fish was invented by Gar's offspring, Raze. Raze, an educated caveman, could not stand in the cold water due to arthritis in his lower limbs. Or so he told everyone. There is irrefutable evidence he was just lazy. The fish spear or stick came about after Raze broke off a sturdy tree limb, having bumped his head on it. Angry, he picked it up and flung it into the river. After a moment or two, the limb floated to the top. Low and behold! It had pierced a fish, killing it. Raze waited until it floated within reach, picked it up and prepared a meal. He was not so lazy as to miss a meal. Still hungry, he picked up the stick, flung it into the water. It floated to the top without a fish. This went on for several more times until he learned to throw the stick a certain way and at the fish. Thus, spear fishing was born. Many generations later, Raze II, having just graduated from cave school, got tired of standing in water or on shore. He sat on a nearby log. The log floated away from shore taking Raze II with it. This was a lot more comfortable. More fish in slightly deeper water. Raze II used this method from that day onward. We can thank a cave school graduate for inventing the float boat.

After the spear and the float boat arrived on the scene, modern fishing equipment was not far behind. The average middle class worker followed shortly after. The sport fishing was a close third. Modern man has turned this idea into a elephantine business. All items even remotely related to fishing is a must-have for the modern sportsman. Fishing rods & reels, boats, lures and even camping trailers and motor-homes are a must-have. Most of the items used in the pursuit of the elusive fish are only used about four times a year. The rest of the time it is stored in odd places such as a basement, backyard or the odd corner in a storage building. The use of all the equipment is not a full time requirement. The modern family does not fish just to get a good, or bad, meal. The modern family gets food from a big, box like affair, known as a store. Modern man has invented “groceries”. Hook'em and cook'em is a bonus in the form of an extra meal in the month.

Fishing is a serious business for those who are TOTALY INSANE!