Something new

Have you ever wondered what it may be like to be the first to discover and use something new? Does this happen out of curiosity or just plain boredom? maybe that person was the only sane one at the time. The rest of us were crazy.

What was going through the mind of the person who was the first to try cooked meat? Or maybe meat of any kind, for the first time. Maybe that person was so hungry and starved,he/she was ready to eat anything one could find. An ancestor, worse for wear & very hungry, spots a carcass of a well known animal after a forest fire. It was looking for grass and roots but finds this burnt animal. The fire had burned all the normal items it was going to eat. Its still warm to the touch. No matter, its very hungry. Looks like a deer of some sort. The ancestor knows it as a “uu aa”, I’m paraphrasing of course. It tears off a leg. Bites into it, hide, hair and all. Spits it out. “uh”(not good), it thinks. Tears off the hide. Bites. “Ah” (better), it thinks. Assuming of course, it can think. A few more bites. Not bad. After eating all it can, including bone, it thinks this is wonderful. On its way back home (a cave or hole in the ground) it starts to gather sticks for its bed. One of which is still on fire. Arriving back home safely, it throws all that he gathered into a pile in the far corner. It then returns to the cooked meat it found. Meanwhile the pile of sticks (its bed) catches fire. Viola! It has started a nice bonfire. Returning with large chunks of burnt meat, it is startled find its home on fire! Its is so enraged, it stomps out the fire, never to start one again. Thus never to enjoy cooked meat again unless it found some after a natural fire. After the home fire it had to move, (afraid of the smell) so missed out on discovering the most useful tool of mankind. Fire and barbecuing.

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Or how about the first to try grinding up some rock, put it on his/her food and call it an improvement? After eating meat for generations, someone in the cave said, “Asfs aa hug fuu” (This needs some seasoning). Thus began the long tradition of insulting the cook. So the cook shouts back,”Co coo coooo” (No like, you cook if you can do better). The cook, being insulted, pick up dirt from cave floor and threw it at the offender. Some of the dirt, unseen, fell into the offenders food. Unbeknown to those in the cave, the cave would become a salt mine many generations later. It was a natural salt cave. The dirt the cook threw was salt. The offender, being satisfied it had insulted the cook properly, took a bite of food. To its complete surprise the food tasted different. In fact, it thought the food tasted very good. A few more bites, it asked the cook to throw more dirt. The cook threw more dirt in its face. Some fell on the food. Others tried this new method. It was good! More dirt throwing. Every one got in the act. Thus started the long tradition of throwing dirt on your opponent.

Unfortunately, they soon discovered not all dirt or rock would make food taste better. They tried throwing dirt while out hunting for food. This did not make the food taste better. In fact it tasted terrible and got grass into the food. Thus inventing vegetables as a side dish. So they picked up pebbles to throw. This raised a few bumps and knocked out teeth but did not make the food better. Next they tried larger rocks but with the result you would expect. The side effect was the death of the bad cook no one liked. Meanwhile, back at the cave, the woman were thinking men stupid for throwing dirt. They were not house broken. Something must be done. From now on, woman would do the cooking. While setting up an organized kitchen in back of the cave, they decided to put salt in a shaker and sprinkle the amount wanted on the food. Sophisticating the men took a few more generations. It is still an ongoing enterprise.

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André Garnerin must have been a first class dreamer. In 1797, André Garnerin made the first jump using his design of a frameless parachute. Garnerin also invented the vented parachute, which improved the stability of the fall. Also in 1785, Jean-Pierre Blanchard demonstrated it as a means of safely disembarking from a hot air balloon. While Blanchard's first parachute demonstrations were conducted with a dog as the passenger, he later had the opportunity to try it himself in1793 when his hot air balloon ruptured and he used a parachute to escape. Were these people crazy? Thinking I’ll find a way to get high in the air and then jump back to earth? Or were they just high? What possessed them to anticipate the failure of a flying apparatus to the point they would need to jump out into empty space? No one knows. 

Garnerin must have been bored out of his mind for some time. After all, social entertainment had not been invented and would not be for more than 200 years after his demise. He was just the type of person needed to take his mothers fine bed sheets, tie rope to the corners, and jump off the roof of the house. A broken bone or two later, he finally was able to convince his best friend to join in the fun. Therefor using marketing techniques still used today. Mainly, if its dangerous and fun, convince someone else to do it. The younger that someone is, the better. Older someone’s have already been convinced to try things, experienced broken bones, and have no desire to do so again. Live long, learn early.

André Garnerin was lucky the hot air balloon had already been in use for years. If not, he surely would have invented the worlds longest ladder in order to get high enough to make the parachute work. It was frameless out of necessity. He had to carry it around. With a wood frame it would be way too heavy.

He had already tried tall trees. He had exhausted all the high items available to him. The parachute did not work at these low heights. What was lacking, he assumed, was a great height. He needed to be as high or higher than the birds! Garnerin was able to get his hands on a hot air balloon. It is safe to assume he traded parachute lessons for the balloon time. Unknowingly, he invented the vehicle rental business but did not get credit for it. He was not a wimp. He did not send a dog to do the first jump. Nor did he send a goat. No, he did the first jump himself. The frameless design allowed him to pack it into a container or backpack to be carried, …wait for it. On his back. Yes! A first.

Unfortunately, the parachute release had not been invented. He jumped, fumbled with the chute, all the while screaming,”I knew I forgot something”(these were not exactly his words. I cleaned it up), finally getting it to deploy. He then floated about 95 feet to earth. He goes down in history as the first to use a frameless parachute, the first to do a free fall and the first to use the fall as a outhouse. Although the free fall and outhouse usage was unintended.

No one knows what happened to the balloon he used that fateful day. No one would go up with Garnerin. They all thought he was crazy. Presumably, with no pilot, it floated to earth at a rather far distance from where Garnerin landed.

 

Hey, Works For Me.