Lake Time

“Hey, You old codger, are you up yet.” Yelled Miles, Elmer’s neighbor from across the road. Miles, a nurse, is the older cousin of “Big Daddy Phunk”, Elmer Phud’s best friend & neighbor. She buy’s a new car every two years and runs it into the ground. At least she’s loyal to General Motors.
“Yea, I’m up.”said Elmer, going to the door and out onto the deck while running one hand though his hair and scratching in not so private places with the other.
“What do you want so early in the morning. Have you come over to clean up after your dog?”
“No! You elbow. My dog didn’t leave that pile in your yard. Besides, I think you forgot where the bathroom was again.”
“Well thanks for bringing me that cup of coffee.” said Elmer, ignoring the jab while flopping down in a lawn chair.
“Go get your own, you milkweed. This is too good for you.”
She’s in a good mood this morning, Elmer thinks, she’s trying to butter me up for something. Otherwise why would she be here so early? It’s going on 9:00 am. Doesn’t anyone sleep late when they spend time at the lake?
“Well that was fun. Standing out here exchanging pleasantries with you is the high light of my day. Clean up after your dog” said Elmer.
“Not mine” Miles said. “I just wanted to know if you’re going to have a fire tonight.”
“H_ _ L NO! Don’t you know a fire attracts the neighbors.” Elmer shouted. This action caused Elmer to drop his early morning cigar in his lap, starting a brush fire in the wrong place. Elmer jumped up, started dancing around trying to put out the fire with last nights left over beer.
“Good moves” She said, ignoring his answer. “I asked Woody to deliver two bundles of fire wood to your lot and had the cost put on my bill. Several neighbors are coming over. See you about dark. I see you’re already practicing your dance steps! Get out your lawn chairs, fire starter and fire poker. Sandwiches would be a nice touch. Oh Yea. We’ll need ice cubes. And try not to pass out so early this time.”
As she walked back across the road, laughing to herself. Elmer started to think about the need for some family trees requiring a good pruning. Dare he? Naw. I’m just dreaming again, thought Elmer, no need to get the hopes up. At least the fire is out. I wonder if I’ll need to shave that delicate area or will the brush grow back even? Pass out Early! Who’s she talking about? And what did she mean “old codger”? Now where did I leave my teeth? Dang! Now I’ll have to put on different shorts.
Its Lake time. Elmer decided to sneak off to do a little fishing before people start showing up. Maybe he'll have time to listen to a few good country tunes while he’s cruising with the ”LOONEY ‘TOON”. Wish I could remember who passed out, Elmer thought, as he rounded up his fishing gear.